I'm going to go all the way back to treatment 5. I haven't written anything since then. I've been doing more than I should and it all caught up with me and I landed myself in the hospital. So here it goes...again timeline form b/c it's easier for me to remember this way.
Monday, Nov 16: Happy Birthday to me and CHEMO #5. I celebrated my birthday having chemo. I took cupcakes to the staff at the oncology clinic. My oncologist said we celebrate on last chemo. I said well I celebrate every chemo and especially today b/c it's my bday. Had chemo, saw my friend Correna, then came home to a surprise dinner from my family.
Nov 17-Nov 19: I rested quite a bit b/c mom and I were going to the Final Tour concert of Motley Crue on Friday Nov 20. (looking back, 1st mistake). However it was an amazing time and we had fun.
Saturday, Nov 21: Took H to one of the malls with a friend and her daughter to play. It was some alone time for H and I. We were gone most of the afternoon but I felt ok.
Sunday, Nov 22: Spent most of the day resting then H had football practice that evening. He got his practice jersey that evening. Football is getting real now.
Monday, Nov 23: Really wanted to go to bible study that evening so I made sure to stay in during the day. Went that afternoon to get a new dress for the next day then made it to bible study. Once I got there I honestly wanted to just go back home and go to sleep.
Tuesday, Nov 24: Went to my school for the boys National Day celebration. If you know anything about the culture here when you see friends it is hugs and kisses. Now, I didn't even think anything of it. I hadn't seen these ladies since Chemo #1 and I was so happy to see them as they were me. Looking back on it HUGE MISTAKE. I should not have hugged and side kissed every single female teacher, but in my head I'm OK.
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| Looking at this picture from 24th. I don't look well. However I didn't see how bad I looked at the time. |
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| Went after celebration to get my new furniture. |
H also had football practice on this night. I wore my running clothes b/c I was going to run. Not full fledge run just week 1 day 1 of C25K. It's only 90 second run, 3 min walk. Well, I DID NOT run!!! We got to practice and it was raining and I started to talk with another mom and more moms showed up so running didn't happen. Obviously that is a good thing.
Wednesday, Nov 25: Stayed home during the morning, went and had shirts made before getting H from school. Grabbed H from school then he had practice that evening. I still felt ok. I went back to mall to get shirts for the moms, delivered them at practice and then as I'm standing in the bleachers the wind picked up and I got cold. Not just cold but 'freezing' cold. I couldn't get warm. We came home and Lara brought us some taco soup for dinner. I ate soup, had hot tea and a HOT shower and still couldn't get warm. Mom got me some socks to put on and a cap to put on my head but still that didn't help. She finally suggested we take my temperature, 38.6/101. I remembered that anything over 38 I am supposed to go to ER. Well, I didn't want to go to ER. I had too much as a mom to do over the weekend. I can't go to ER b/c I might have to stay. Well, as I've told others, I got smart and sent my oncologist a message and he said you HAVE to go to ER and have a CBC (complete blood count) done. Ugh!!!
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| The night I went to ER |
9:45 pm: So here we go. I get dressed in sweats, t-shirt, hoodie, and stocking cap. I get to ER and tell them I am undergoing chemo, have fever and need a CBC. I literally waiting in the ER waiting room for 5-10 minutes. They got me away from all the germs ASAP. Finally around 1:00 AM they come back and tell me my WBC (white blood count) is 1.5 so they have to admit me. I think I finally made it to the room around 3:30 am or so. I tell mom she needs to go ahead and go home b/c she has to get H up for school by 6 AM. However I need you to bring him to see me before school so he knows I'm ok.
Thurday, Nov 26, THANKSGIVING: Not at all where I thought I'd be spending Thanksgiving but there I was stuck in the hospital. Mom brought H to see me before school and he just crawled up on my bed and cried. He then tells me first my dad has to miss my first football game and now my mom has to miss it. Ugh talk about a knife through the heart. They left and I just cried.
Side note: through out this entire journey the hospital is the last place I EVER wanted my children to have to see me. Being in the hospital is the last place I EVER wanted to end up.
10 AM: the Dr's come in and tell me I will be there for at least 72 hours. Well, that doesn't work for me. See I have an 8 year old that needs me to be at his game tomorrow. So my Dr says, if your numbers are up you can have a pass. Ok good, I have lots of people praying and they will be up.
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| After being in hospital for 12 hours. |
Mom brought H to see me after school and then they went to Janet's for Thanksgiving dinner. Thank goodness I was on the surgical floor b/c they were able to bring me a plate.
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| Getting to see H for the last time before I was moved to the oncology unit |
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| Getting to skype with Cman. He couldn't come to surgical floor b/c he was coughing. |
Friday, Nov 27: They came and drew my blood then moved me to the Oncology Unit. Oh goodness I was not prepared for what the rooms looked like. I went from this nice 'homey' room to a room that reminded me of a mental institution room. As soon as the nurse wheels me in and I get to the bed I cried. Then the oncology nurse comes in and I explain to her that if my numbers are up I can have a pass according to my oncologist. Well, the oncologist on duty that day said my numbers were only up to 2.5 so they are not giving my a pass. Tears again. But let me explain the tears were more tears b/c my son was going to be at his first ever football game without either of his parents. Yes his mimi was there but still I was sad for him b/c mommy and daddy weren't going to be there. The tears were also for me b/c it was a bit of relief for me b/c I had already been off the IV the day before for 4 hours and when they flushed my vein it HURT so bad that I really didn't want to be off the IV again. So after telling mom and trying to explain as much as I could to H that yes I would have to miss his first game but we couldn't take the risk of me missing ALL his games so this was what was best. I told him to get me some stuff so Jessica could bring it to me and I said I need a new shirt b/c I wanna shower. Of course my son brings me the t'shirt that I would have worn to the game. I wore it with pride while I was in the hospital. They WON their first game 36-0. Way to go FOXES.
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| My swollen hand. |
My nurse that I had on Friday night came in and said I am not going to continue to use this candula. I told her good luck finding another vein to put it in. However between her and another nurse they found one
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| It took them a bit but they found one. |
Just a comparison of my right hand and left hand. My poor right hand was so swollen. This was when she took the cannula out for a bit and let my hand just rest.
Some pictures of my boy that I got after the game was finished.
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| His jersey |
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| H and MiMi |
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| My football player |
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| Cman just having fun |
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| Calling me to tell me he won |
Saturday, Nov 28: Today is a new day. Oh after my super emotional day on Friday I was so glad to wake up refreshed. I had a day full of visitors. Made me super glad. Friday I only saw Jesssica and Sandra and my pastors wife and then skyped with Kim and my Dad and boys. But having visitors all day on Saturday made me realize just how loved and thought of I am.
Sunday, Nov 29: Well, CMan has been coughing and running fever. I have mom take him to the dr and he now has pneumonia in one lung and a couple spots in the other. Shoot I wanna go home if my numbers are high enough but now to decide if it's safe or not.
My number is up to 19.2. However that didn't just happen on it's own. They have given me 4 shots of nuprogen which is an immune booster. So now to stay safe and away from people to keep that number up so I can have my last round of chemo in a week.
I did go ahead and come home and I am just staying in my bedroom. If I need to go out I put on a mask and do what I need to do and come straight back to my room.
A quick pic with my boys before I retired to my room.
So where did I go wrong....concert, school, not resting, doing this, doing that. I said in the beginning of this journey that I was not going to let let cancer take over my body. I honestly don't even know that the reality of the words 'I have cancer' had actually ever hit me. Well on Friday as I was at the hospital and I seriously felt like the four walls of that room were closing in on me I cried out to God. I asked why? Yes I know I won't get an answer but if I look at my life I know why. Cancer is not a death sentence for me it is a LIFE sentence for me. It was totally God's way of making me open my eyes and see that my life needed to change. Let me tell you it has changed. I may not be to the exact spot God wants me to be but I am getting there. My marriage is better, my prayer life is better, and my daily walk with Him is getting better. I still struggle with reading my Bible daily but I'm getting there. If you remember
this post from the very beginning Jeremiah 29:11 has been my life verse and when I get down I remember what that verse says for my life.
A saying I was told from Kim when I was first diagnosed was 80% mental and 20% physical. Friday was definitely a 20% day. I don't let people see me cry b/c everyone says I'm so strong. Let me tell you though there are some days I just am not that strong. Then I look at the two boys I have and realize I have to shape up and keep going.
I hope this helps everyone understand what happened and why I ended up in the hospital. Thank you so much for the prayers. Keep them coming as I have one chemo left. I will also go see the radiologist on Dec 7 before chemo to find out what my next step is.
A quick pic with my boys before I retired to my room. 
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